I DIDN’T

GET THE JOB

On Valentine’s Day 2022, instead of spending time finding true love, I decided to apply to a job for Liquid Death.

I was rejected. I’m also still alone.

THE TRUTH

WILL GET

YOU HIGHER.

Ministry of Sativa (ministryofsativa.com) is a sativa-only cannabis brand. Why? Some people like getting blasted in the face every time they light up. Anyway, I wrote this brand manifesto, and it's still on their website so go check it out before they update the design.

I'M ON

MUSHROOMS!

I spent a week coming up with ideas for a mushroom startup called Gwella, and while none of them panned out the one sick line I came up with got turned into a tote. Fun, right?

WRITE LIKE

A NORCAL

STONER

This brand’s got a chill Santa Cruz vibe and it was fun spending a week writing some social posts for them.

POEM:

O, DYSTOPIA!

o, dystopia!

come closer!

you're too far away.

our faces find warmth

in your cold blue light,

that hue of hope

a lighthouse for the lonely.

take us to where we want to be,

to saccharine-soaked realities.

swipe, swipe, swipe,

no, that's not the one.

swipe, swipe, swipe,

anxious thumbs on the run.

THERE!

the pretty girl,

with the pretty smile,

she knows who can save us,

and while it ain't the lord jesus,

she says she'll still please us.

so click link in bio,

and have CASSIESAVEU20

on your next online purchase.

ISLAND

LAKES:

SOME POSTERS

I live in a pirate-themed suburb called Island Lakes. I wrote a poster campaign promoting it. I don't know why.

FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE

There’s always stuff in my house I need to sell. Is this copy overkill? I dunno it’s Facebook Marketplace who cares.

REMEMBER

THE CUPCAKE TREND?

This was the first radio spot I ever wrote. I was in school and just got my first copywriting gig, and we had a client that couldn't use their name anymore and needed a radio spot to tell the city about it. My boss later submitted it for a local advertising award and it beat three spots from the city's football team. Knowing I'm better than the Winnipeg Blue Bombers is awesome.

0:00 0:30

THE

SADDEST

LETTER TO

THE EDITOR

In 2008 I had a college assignment where we had to try and get a letter to the editor published so I picked the most circulated newspaper in Canada. It worked, but at what cost.

LETTER

TO A DUDE

NAMED SANTA

When I was eight I wrote a letter to Santa. Now, several years later, I’m including it in my professional portfolio.

BORN

FROM PROSE

I recorded a four-song EP so I could graduate from college. Do I remember how I did any of this? No. But a classmate played the last song at her wedding so that was cool.