WELCOME TO the REALM OF THE RANDOM.
OTHER STUFF
THE BEER THAT ACTUALLY SOLVES PROBLEMS
This was a beer label I helped create during my time at We The Collective. The creative team got together one night to come up with a name and direction, then me and a super cool guy named Adam Warner took it to the finish line.
The result? A beer for getting good ideas goin’.
Idea
Execution
The label, but unraveled.
MAMMA MIA ME VOICE BE SELLING A PIZZERIA!
For way-too-many NHL playoff seasons I was the voice of the ‘2-on-1 Hockey Deal’ from Pizza Hotline. I was paid $150 and received zero pizzas in compensation.
THE ROBOTS AREN’T ALRIGHT
There’s this advertising magazine in Canada called Strategy, and every print issue they get an agency to design the back page. OpenAI’s GPT-4 had just been released, so we harnessed the existential terror I felt using it for the first time into this op-ed written by a robot.
THIS HEADLINE IS A REAL HOME RUN
Can you ever *really* claim to write a headline this good? Of course not; it’s written by the river of cosmic inspiration that flows through us all.
the uncontrollable controller
A controller you can’t control? That’s preposterous!
This was a game for Responsible Gambling Council that was Snake with a twist: the controller’s buttons changed every round. The takeaway? Life’s random, man, and so is gambling.
(Agency: Zulu Alpha Kilo)
shout at the GOLDFISH
Remember Flappy Bird? Well, imagine that, but a Goldfish cracker Snapchat filter you control by yelling at your phone. What a hoot.
I’M ON MUSHROOMS!
I spent a week coming up with ideas for a mushroom startup called Gwella, and while none of them panned out the one sick line I came up with got turned into a tote and ended up on a t-shirt on Dragon’s Den, Canada’s Shark Tank.
LETTER TO A DUDE NAMED SANTA
When I was eight I wrote a letter to Santa. Now, several years later, I’m including it in my professional portfolio.
I DIDN’T GET THE JOB
On Valentine’s Day 2022, instead of spending time finding true love, I decided to apply to a job for Liquid Death.
I was rejected. I’m also still alone.
REMEMBER THE CUPCAKE TREND?
This was the first radio spot I ever wrote. I was in school and just got my first copywriting gig, and we had a client that couldn't use their name anymore and needed a radio spot to tell the city about it.
This would go on to win a local advertising award, beating three spots from the city's football team. Knowing I'm better than the Winnipeg Blue Bombers is awesome.
POEM: O, DYSTOPIA!
o, dystopia!
come closer!
you're too far away.
our faces find warmth
in your cold blue light,
that hue of hope
a lighthouse for the lonely.
take us to where we want to be,
to saccharine-soaked realities.
swipe, swipe, swipe,
no, that's not the one.
swipe, swipe, swipe,
anxious thumbs on the run.
THERE!
the pretty girl,
with the pretty smile,
she knows who can save us,
and while it ain't the lord jesus,
she says she'll still please us.
so click link in bio,
and have CASSIESAVEU20
on your next online purchase.
THE SADDEST LETTER TO THE EDITOR
In 2008 I had a college assignment where we had to try and get a letter to the editor published so I picked the most circulated newspaper in Canada. It worked, but at what cost.
BORN FROM PROSE
I recorded a four-song EP so I could graduate from college. Do I remember how I did any of this? No. But a classmate played the last song at her wedding so that was cool.
